Whilst all of the human race will be shocked and jubilant,
those responsible for the everyday welfare of the millions of Storks around the
world; will be wondering whether or not they will still have jobs in 9 months
time!
Indeed, celebrity chefs are already planning the mass
culling of the birds, given their role as deliverers of future generations of
babies looks likely to be coming to an end; as they prepare recipes such as
Stork Pie, Stork Soup, Stork Omelettes, Stork Chuckie Eggs with Soldiers, and
Keche le Stork!
The world's first baby delivered by what many are calling a
'super human' method, is expected to have blue blood rather than red, and never
to have to earn a single penny himself for the rest of his life - such is the
miraculous method of delivery he has endured.
Scientists say it is purely down to the baby being male and
deciding for himself how to come into this world, which will change the role of
women across the planet. Not only will they now be solely responsible for the
upbringing of the children that Storks used to deliver to them, but they will
now be able to deliver the babies themselves and actually feed them themselves,
if rumours of milk pouring from the mother’s breasts upon ‘self-delivery’ - as
the new baby delivery method is being called – are true.
Whilst many see this as just media hype, others are now
calling for the covering up of women's breasts, previously thought of as only
adornments, only there to add beauty to the female form and as something for
little boys to play with when they grow up!
They are also demanding that ‘self feeding’ of babies is
banned from public view as being obscene and pornographic and demeaning to the
male babies that may be fed via this new and previously unheard of method.
Indeed, Nestle the world's major producer of baby food, have issued
a press release denying the ability of women to ‘self-feed’ claiming that what
is considered as breast-milk is purely a secretion produced by the abnormal breasts
of some women, and contains absolutely no nutrients and may in fact be harmful
to male babies in particular.
In the meantime, there are major religious groups who are
saying that this is all proof of Satanism and that the Stork should be
protected as the true deliverer of future human generations; and that women
able to copy what the woman known as Kate has done, should be burnt alive at
the stake for they are truly miracle workers and therefore need to be controlled
if not wiped out completely!!
Now that women may be able to deliver babies themselves,
there is fear that the human male will become redundant as their job of looking
after the Storks is phased out with the inevitability of them becoming
unnecessary in the process once they have fertilised the egg that the Storks
used to develope into human babies prior to delivering them to the chosen
woman.
One final shock announcement comes from the USA, responsible
for the majority of Storks on the planet; that the human female cannot
‘self-deliver’ and that scientists have proven that what is being called a
‘birth canal’ is merely the ‘penis pleasure organ’ that females have solely for the
purpose of giving pleasure to men and ensuring they remain around once the
Stork has delivered a baby.
For millennia science has shown this ‘penis pleasure organ’ has no
other purpose and certainly is far to small to ever accomplish delivery of a
baby through as the organ has such a small aperture.
Indeed politicians across the world are now convened in
order to decide whether or not woman able to ‘self-deliver’ should be
imprisoned or even executed as they are a major threat to the Stork population
of the world and of the reason for male’s to exist.
They also risk the female’s ‘penis pleasure organ’ being seen as
something more productive than just a method of delivering unrestricted and
eternally available sexual pleasure to any male who wishes to utilise it.
